An Indispensable Tool For Fighting The Painful Effects Of Holiday Inflation – The Roland Iten Buckle

calendar | ic_dehaze_black_24px By Mario Squillacioti | ic_query_builder_black_24px 2 min read |

‘Tis the season to be jolly! And if you’re in any way like me – that means over-indulging in festive holiday meals! Roland Iten have brought out THE accessory for folks who see the ‘Twelve Days of Christmas’ as twelve marathon eating sessions!

Scenario:

You’re at your office Holiday Party and you’ve had your 4th helping of roasted goose, dumplings and braised red cabbage. Suddenly it hits you:  your pants are a little bit tighter around the waist than they were when you started the evening. What do you do? The traditional play in this situation is to undo your belt and trouser button and add some needed room for your expanding gut!  Don’t be this guy!

Pants

Solution:

Roland Iten must be a man with a prodigious appetite because his calling in life is to make the most technologically advanced belts known to Man. Behold the Roland Iten R822 “PREDATOR” – a titanium frame belt buckle decorated with over 14 carats of diamond pave.

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With a mechanism that owes more to the inner workings of a fine watch or a clock, each belt is geared and sprung to allow the wearer to discretely ‘let out’ his waistline. These pieces of haute-haberdashery were originally created to account for the physiological phenomenon that makes a person’s waist seemingly expand while sitting versus standing. (In reality the ‘phenomena’ has more to do with the compression of the waistline by the torso while seated in contraposition to the way that it is stretched out and slimmer while elongated by the standing frame.)

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While most folks might be able to restrain themselves from eating an ENTIRE stollen at one sitting, others (like me) cannot. Admittedly – I’m not hugely enthusiastic about letting any ‘predator’ loose in my pants, but the ability to sit in a comfortable and composed manner while contemplating my next meal will be a great boon this holiday season.

Inflation:

What’s that you say?  You don’t run with the ‘Kim and Kanye’ crowd?  Don’t worry; Roland Iten have an entire range of mechanical belt buckles and cufflinks to accommodate your frame as it swells, even if your wallet doesn’t.  If your wallet is swollen too, they make a mechanical credit-card dispenser too!

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